College, Christ, and Finding Your Faith by Renee Cottrell

UTSA Class of ‘21

If you were anything like me at eighteen years old, the prospect of college brought excitement, apprehension, and questions. Questions such as: how will I fit in? Will I make any friends in my classes? How am I going to balance work/life/school? There I was, a young woman just about to take the step into my new life far from home, and just as I walked over that threshold, a final question popped into my mind, unbidden. 

What about God? 

Yes, what about God? What about my faith, my worship system, where does this fit into my new life? 

Regretfully, I cannot provide you, dear reader, with any clear answer. But I can provide you with some direction, and a story of my own. 

My faith was challenged—big time. I had grown up in a different culture, in Canada, where Catholicism was encouraged through the school systems, but rarely discussed in public. After arriving on campus in south Texas, I witnessed an outpouring of public speech on Jesus, and other religions, which initially shocked me and drove me farther away. I remember thinking, “There is NO way I am getting involved in that.” It was simply too much, too soon. As a result, my faith fell to the wayside; and I fell into a cycle of drinking, partying, and admittedly letting myself be distracted by a handful of guys I had met in my student housing. I went through my first heartbreak and woke up with more than one headache, sick from what was inside of me. It was not just the substance, but the lack of spirituality that had left me with nobody to talk to in my loneliest hours. 

I resurfaced tired, broken, and empty. So empty that I felt my heart rattle around in my chest as I walked around campus. It was one of those days where I was approached by a young woman who was a part of a Christian student body on campus, and after being invited to service that Thursday night, I reluctantly said yes. I remember walking into the auditorium that had been converted into a chapel and feeling so uncomfortable like I was a stranger to my faith, unwelcome in my land. 

I ended up enraptured in what the preacher said that night, and as the band began to play the final worship song, tears poured silently down my face in the dark as I was hit with the realization that I had strayed not only from God but from myself as well. 

This. This is where College students struggle. We get so wrapped up in recreating ourselves that we can forget that if we try to cookie-cutter our longstanding relationship with our faith out, we can harm our emotional wellbeing. This is why when I am approached now by young people struggling with their faith going into college, I always say: redefine, instead of reconsidering your perspective on Christ. 

Redefine that it is okay to make mistakes, it is okay to have fun. You can still go out, laugh, and spend time with your friends. Isaiah 12:3 even says that “With joy, you will draw water from the wells of salvation.”! Having faith does not mean disciplining yourself within an inch of morality, instead of finding joy, and what makes you joyful! When I thought about how the drinking, the blurry nights where anything could have happened to me as I wandered back to my room, it filled me with fear. When I got together for coffee with friends, a small group, and went to the gym, I was refreshed and happy. However, it took me nearly a year to purge these behaviors completely; and I would always slip, pray, and start again until I got it right. Be forgiving on yourself as God is, and it will make a massive difference. 

Redefine who you surround yourself with. Adopt a good radar for good people. Do all of your friends have to be Christian? No! I have lovely, amazing friends from all religions. We have compelling discussions this way. Jesus spoke to all people, so should you. Always invite others to share in your faith, especially those who are closest to your heart. I still remember how my friends would give me rides to get groceries when they saw me biking in the rain, or how my small group leader would invite me to sit down and chat. It healed me from the inside out and made me rewrite forever who I kept company with. 

College and Christ can both be incredibly confusing, but also incredibly rewarding when done healthily. I could go on for ages about this, the many ways I have learned to redefine my faith instead of reconsidering if it was “right” for me. However, I will leave the rest up to you, reader. God gave us the gift of individuality and free will. He wants your faith to be a choice you make every day, which becomes easier with time, as you form a deeper relationship with yourself as well. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” While you are the one changing, he will remain firm, a focal point. 

So, what about God? The answer is yours, as many times as you want it to be. 

Currently in her third year at the University of Texas at San Antonio, Renee is pursuing her undergraduate degree in Digital Communications with a focus in Professional Writing. She currently works full time assisting with real estate marketing while being passionate about incorporating her faith into her writing and designs. Her work aims to inspire and direct young people towards a healthy, fulfilling, and educated life through achieving their goals, finding mentorship, and being oriented in Christ. She welcomes any questions on her Instagram @_rencottrell_, and is excited to see the impact of her articles!