When You Feel Depleted by Kailyn Dempsey
A friend recently told me that I was one of the godliest women she knew. At first, I was flattered and encouraged. After that, I was a bit confused and overwhelmed. How could I be one of the godliest women she knew? Were things that bad that I was one of the godliest women she knew? Because…I’m a mess! Half of the time, I’m in complete confusion about what the next step God has for me in life is. I question His love for me, whether He will move in my life, and whether He will continue to sustain me. I repeatedly ask God to change and “fix” things in my life, then repeatedly get frustrated when I don’t feel He is doing so. On top of all this, many things going on in my life have left me feeling especially weak and helpless lately. This past year had been especially challenging. I have been feeling vulnerable, needy, and humbled as my strength has fled from me under the weight of all that has been going on. With all these failings, how could I be seen as such a godly woman?
In the book of 2 Corinthians, Paul tells us about a struggle he had:
“…a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (12:7b-10).
In this passage, we see that Paul had some issues. Theologians debate about what it was and probably will continue to debate that topic until Jesus returns. As far as we are concerned, exactly what it was doesn’t matter that much. It was overwhelming to Paul. He “pleaded with the Lord” three different times. Through the Holy Spirit, this was the man who wrote the majority of the New Testament—clearly, he had God’s ear. Yet, God told him “no.” More specifically, God told him to rest on the grace of God and that God would be glorified through his situation.
And, of course, God was greatly glorified in Paul’s life! God used Paul to pen the majority of the New Testament and share the Gospel with many. Tradition holds that Paul was even martyred for his faith. The weakness that God allowed Paul to have required Paul to rely on God’s strength and not on his own.
So, how can God be honored in the midst of our unruly, stressful, and even distressing circumstances? I believe the answer can be found in Matthew 24:22-28. Here, we find the account of Jesus walking on water. Peter wanted to leave the boat and walk on water to Jesus, and Jesus told him, “Come.” Peter walked on water! Until…The Bible says, “…he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink…” (24:30). Peter was successfully walking on water as he focused his attention on Jesus but began to sink when he focused on the wind and became afraid. Much like Peter, we need to focus on Jesus and on following and praising Him rather than focusing on our circumstances. As the writer of Hebrews put it—"...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith” (12:2).
Personally, I think it would be so much easier for me to glorify and honor God if my circumstances were different, but this perspective is completely flawed. I remember hearing a quote years ago, the source of which I have long forgotten: “If a Christian cannot serve God in the place where he is, he cannot serve Him anywhere.”
We spend so much time waiting, hoping, and praying for God to change our circumstances, but we tend to forget that He can and, many times, is being glorified in us IN those circumstances.
It’s not that we shouldn’t pray about challenging situations we are facing. However, we should also start to look for what God may be doing in our hearts and lives during this time and be thankful for how He is moving. I was chatting with my friend Tiffany, who also has some challenging circumstances going on in her life, and this is how she described her approach to them: “I’ve really focused on praying more and just looking for God’s fingerprints. I believe He’s sovereign, so He allows the [sic] things in life, even the hard things. I also believe He only allows things for His glory and my good. My earthly view might not let me always see that clearly, but I’m hanging onto it like a drowning sailor hanging onto a life vest.” Just as Paul understood that God did not remove his thorn in the flesh for certain reasons, Tiffany also understood that God allowed certain events in her life that were challenging, unpleasant, and possibly even painful. However, she was making a conscious choice to look for “God’s fingerprints,” what God was doing in her life and the lives of those around her. Looking for these things gives God glory and encourages us because we see that He is still moving [in] us and the world around us.
As I was considering my weakness and inabilities, especially lately, I was completely humbled when I finally realized what my friend had seen in me when she had called me “godly.” She had seen a frail woman whose best efforts to follow Jesus were pitiful, at best, but were overshadowed by the amazing grace of God. His strength was and is being perfect in my weakness, and that is what she saw—not me, but for Him. Jesus meeting me in my absolute insufficiency and infusing me with the ability to do exactly what He had called me to do—follow Him. And, He wants to meet each of us and be glorified. His “…grace is sufficient for [us], for [His] power is made perfect in weakness.” My encouragement to you as well as to my own heart is that, while we can and should continue to pray for God to move in challenging situations in our lives, we should simultaneously look for ways He is working in our lives now and give Him the glory for what He is doing. I love the way missionary Elisabeth Elliot said it: “The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.”
Kailyn Dempsey, M.S., serves as the director of a Christian child care center and preschool and previously counseled in the foster care system. She loves finding encouragement for daily life in the pages of the Bible. In her free time, she enjoys eating dark chocolate, engaging in deep discussions, playing board games, and laughing at corny puns.