Until Then

After finishing my firstpainting collection, I sat in my “studio” and just felt around. I felt my brushes, my white linen cloths, and my paint-stainedeasel.

I sort of chuckled; shouldn’tI be twirling for joy, or something? I just finished ten flower impressionisticpaintings—you would think any artist would be. Truthfully, I felt accomplished,and yes, excited, but painting means nothing when it’s not for the glory ofGod.

I paint because it’s in meto paint—I don’t know what else I feel compelled to do in a creative sense, except—write.

Sadly, I’ve stopped writing—frankly—becauseI’ve been waiting for some big gig—as though a book will miraculously pop outof me and I’ll finish it like I can a painting. Not possible in my full-time teaching and running a business world.

With all this aside, I alsostopped writing because I let time and pride become a factor. I’ve had peoplein the past steal my work without giving credit—while it hurts—it shouldn’t stop me from being afraid ofputting my work out there.

I’m not saying I’m the bestthing since Emily Dickinson, not by any means—but there is a fear when I put mywork out there. Will it be judged? Will it measureup? What will be so different from my writing apart from others already putout there? Can I really stand out? Emily Dickinson was known as a recluse, and yetdefined herself as one of the most prominent Romantic writers of her time—allthe while hiding her face from the public. I’m just making a parallel here—youdon’t need to stand in the limelight or get on the road to fame to make adifference in someone’s life.

Jesus Christ didn’t modelthis—He—in fact, was the road, and not to self-glorification—but to true glory. To glory in His seas of vast grace—His unmeasurablelove and pursuit of us…

“Arise, shine, for yourlight has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.”Isaiah 60:1

With this said, I’ve decidedto hang my art apron until I pass my English Language Arts and Reading 7-12^thExam February 18^th—God-willing. Then, I’ll be able to become certifiedthrough a program at iTeach. I would appreciate your prayers for my husband andI; he takes his final oral board exam the same day I take my exam. He’s beenstudying everyday since last year.

Until then, I’ve decided to commit myself to writing more—daily—if possible. I’m currently working on a minute collection of prose that may or not become self-published soon. If you’d like to purchase my first collection of poetry for only 2.99, you may find that here: https://www.amazon.com/Sands-Grace-Poetry-Bring-Waters-ebook/dp/B00N4NZRVW