The Cliff by Alyssa Pugh

It is my interpretation of standing between the calling the Lord has for me, which is the water, and the leap off of a ledge it takes for me to pursue it. I wrote this at a time in my life when I was at a crossroads of sorts. I felt that I could see where God wanted me to be, and also where I was, but I wasn't able to bridge the two or notice a path between them. After some time of prayer and fasting, I felt the Lord press upon my heart to just jump in faith, regardless if I could see what was in front of me, I knew the promise before me (the water). To pursue what he has for me as relentlessly as he pursues me. 

Alyssa Pugh

I have ran towards the sound of the waves for months now. I know there is water here. I can hear the sound of it rushing. I can smell the moisture. The damp air clings to my skin. Through thick brush and bramble I’ve traveled towards it. Vines of bitterness, self absorbing thoughts and offense have snagged my feet with nearly every step. The snag trips me and I can taste the dirt as soon as my face hits the earth. Many days I have stayed in the soil, wondering if the journey to the water was even worth it. The thicket was so dense that at times I was unable to even see the light of the sun most days. 

Now I stand, the waters raging below me. My burning lungs can hardly take the picture in. The search for water has brought to me to the edge of a plateau. I stand, my feet trembling from moving day in and day out. As I peer down the side of the cliff, I’m angry. I’m frustrated, and I am thirsty. 

I knew there was water. I could feel it in my bones. Every sense I had told me that it was in front of me. I walked towards the scent of that promise which soaked into my pores and drove me here. Now, I can’t even fathom scaling the side of the rock to get to it. Briefly, I consider bedding down in the grass, preparing a grave for my parched body to wither there… but I know that is not how wars are won. My trek through the forest has taught me, if anything, that giving up brings no fruit, and does not quench a thirst. 

I posture myself on the edge of the ground. The waves are licking and slapping below me. I can feel the spray of the water each time one crashes below me. It is so tangible now I am trembling. One foot in front of the other, my arms are pushed back, chest out, face forward. I wail. With each breath that comes, I am screaming. Screaming into the abyss. Screaming praise to the Lord. Bellowing his truth into the void between myself and the water I know I need to survive. Though I am so, so thirsty and so weathered, I scream. I cry out for the living water that I know will heal. For hours on, I shout.

My God is reckless. He is relentless. I know now in the wilderness, he was teaching me to be reckless. He bred a spirit of relentlessness inside of me as the scent of that water filled my nostrils while I laid in the roots of the trees. A craving that birthed a spirit to seek. That water is for me. The chaos of the waves orchestrated by the one who commands them. I want what waits for me. 

My heart thuds. "My God is reckless."

I fall silent. The wind whistles in my ears. My eyes survey the expanse of water that lay before me. How long have I been searching for this? How long have I been walking towards the sound of the waves? 

My blood bounds. "My God is relentless."

Stillness. In the silence of my mind I can only hear one word, “JUMP.” 

Three yards back, my bare feet slide on the wet grass. Deep breath, filled lungs, run.

A wall of cold air hits my chest as my feet leave the ledge. My arms are splayed wide as the wind carries me to my landing place.

I can already taste the water.

I am a worshipper, wife, and full time girl mom. I just recently left my job in the medical field to stay home with our girls in our fifth wheel camper, where we live year round as grounds keepers for a local city lake. I serve on the worship team at my home church as well as host a life group there. I have been writing since I was a child, but have recently began writing to glorify the Lord about three years ago when I gave my life fully to Christ.