Healing from Anxiety by Karrie Viscogliosi
Anxiety stepped into my life one day in first grade.From that point on it took on a life of its own. I spent every waking momenttrying to cope, survive and pretend everything was ok. If I had a smile on myface, I was doing ok; or so I thought. This “forced” smile became my comfort.My façade. 30 years passed; countless habits were formed. I was systematicallytangling my insides by trying to present a strong, powerful image on theoutside. As the years passed, life went on. I was growing miserable inside, butfunctioning. I was deceived to believe my chains were simply, comfort measures.If something didn’t make me comfortable, I just didn’t do it. I was completelyand utterly alone in my struggles and I had no one to talk to because I didn’teven know I was suffering as badly as I was. Anxiety was winning and nowdepression was taking hold. Still highly functioning, I grew into the dreams Ihad as a child. I have always wanted to be a mother, so I got married and hadthree children. Some of the other dreams I had were quite large and unattainableas I tried to chase my fears away into fantasy land. I didn’t stick withanything other than shopping and pouring myself into being the best mother Icould be. Too good, you see, I was of the belief my kids had to be perfect. Perfectlydressed. Perfectly behaved. No sign of letting loose anywhere in our vocabulary.We were a “pretty package wrapped in a big bow”. What people likely didn’t seewas my marriage was falling apart and there was a lot of fighting behind closeddoors. Our struggles weren’t always hidden, but they certainly never appearedas bad as they really were. I didn’t know how to love or how to be loved. Ididn’t know how to have fun; I just knew how to survive. I was good atsurviving in my own strength. Something I subconsciously took pride in.
My husband has a long line of health struggles. The short story is he is a three-time kidney transplant recipient. The ups and downs of the health roller coaster, I thought I could handle. Until my facades came tumbling down. I found God along the way, I’ve always known He existed yet, I wasn’t giving my life to Him. When my world crashed down around me, due to circumstances out of our control, it was then that I realized surrender looks a lot different than I ever imagined. Surrender was something I had to do at that point if I was going to survive. Little by little I began picking up my Bible. The Scripture was jumping off the pages at me and for the first time, I had tangible comfort. I remember one time being awake in the middle of the night with panic attacks. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go down and read my Bible. I actually heard Jesus speak to me that night. He said, “trust me”. You see, I was not trusting God with my life. In fact, I was doing the exact opposite. I was trying to survive life in my own strength and I was being swallowed whole. There have been a few turning points in my journey. The night I heard Jesus calmly tell me to trust him, I believed him. From that moment on, my coping skills changed. I began stepping out of my comfort and seeking courage with the help of God. I still have some habits of anxiety, but I know and trust that God has them in the palm of His hand.
Karrie Viscogliosi is a wife and mother. She findscomfort in knowing Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Karrie and her husband Al wereborn and raised in the Chicagoland area and met while in high school. They areblessed to have three children, Acilia, Miles and Cody. Karrie spends her timeraising her children and supports and encourages her husband who owns a localelectrical company. In her free time, she enjoys riding horses and gettingoutside to enjoy nature! She is a sun seeker and light-shining optimist. Shepassionately supports organ donation and was even one of her husband’s threekidney donors in 2009.
Karrie seeks to live life to the fullest because she knows life is short and worth living free from fear. This perspective was a long time coming, as she suffered childhood and early adult life full of anxiety. She now knows that the secret to freedom is not striving for perfection, but simply resting in truth and boasting of her weakness. Knowing in her weakness, God is strong!
To connect with Karrie, find her on Instagram@Fearhasnopower ; Facebook @Author Karrie Viscogliosi or her blog,www.karrieviscogliosi.blogspot.com