Grateful in the Broken Places by Donna Bucher

Like so many broken dreams, the glass shards slid from my hands into the waste basket. The tiny slashes on my palms betrayed the jagged edges recently held there. As I rinsed my hands under cold water, the sting of open wounds spoke of loss. Choosing gratitude in the hard places feels like holding the jagged pieces of your life, and in spite of the pain, seeing beauty.

Though only an inexpensive mug, it held more than coffee; it held memories in the pictures adorning the outside. Pictures of my children; my son and his wife, my girls together. Photos of my husband and me, my dear pup, Golda, of little booties for an expected grandchild.

Yet the shattered pieces of broken pictures spoke more truth than I wanted to hear. The smiles once peering at me, now carried their own pain: divorce, death, loss, heartbreak. Overwhelmed with the brokenness not only of the mug, but the reality the pieces represented, tears filled my eyes.

Oddly, I felt compelled towards thanking God. At first my mind went blank, then slowly at first, words of gratitude came one by one.

Gratitude for each of my children's lives. Though broken, marred and stained, beauty shone through because God still held the pen; their story not yet complete.

Gratitude for a daughter-in-law who loved, honored, and remained an important part of our lives, and our daughters' lives though her marriage to our son ended in divorce.

Gratitude for almost 15 years of unconditional love, joy, loyalty, and comfort from a dog sorely missed, who came to us during a season of pain.

Gratitude at the privilege of holding my granddaughter Indigo, and kissing her beautiful face, before leaving her in the arms of Jesus.

Gratitude at knowing I will see Indigo in heaven one day.

Gratitude for memories, though painful for they are part of my story.

Choosing gratitude in hard places never comes easy. When the steel grip of pain encloses around your heart, the only sounds issuing forth speak grief, hopelessness. You need not feel shame, for words spoken through pain spew from a broken, wounded heart.

On the Cross, Jesus cried, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46) Jesus identifies with your pain, with your feelings of abandonment in the midst of trials.

In the midst of one of my hardest places, I had no words, the pain in my heart stifled even my tears. But someone with me experiencing the same pain, began a prayer of thanksgiving; their words faltered as sobs choked their flow. But as words of gratitude broke the silence of the room, something changed.

The sacrifice of thanksgiving broken on the altar of pain unleashed the full grace of God.

The expression of gratitude in general evokes positive pictures of blessings, health, memorable experiences, people and God's goodness in our lives. Many times, gratitude sourced in positivity fills our gratitude journals, and at times, becomes the things we take most for granted.

Choosing gratitude in the hard places offers tremendous potential for healing, spiritual maturity, and personal growth.

While thoughts of gratitude in moments of deep sorrow or trial seldom surface immediately, we can make time for reflection when we settle into a better place emotionally and spiritually. 

Love of God is pure when joy and suffering inspire an equal degree of gratitude.

No one chooses suffering or walking in the hard places of life, but sometimes God chooses those paths for us. Each time we move towards choosing gratitude in the hard places of life, we more quickly invite God into those circumstances.

Walking through the door of pain, knowing God meets you there, alters your perspective from one of dread or despair, to one of expectancy and gratitude. For in the hard places we learn to love God more deeply, listen to God more attentively, and thank God more fervently.

Donna is a women’s ministry leader, teacher, speaker, retired missionary, CASA volunteer, experienced counselor and hospice and palliative care support personnel. Founder of Serenity in Suffering blog, where she shares articles, resources and counseling designed to help you grow personally and find spiritual intimacy with Christ; ultimately finding purpose in the trials you face. Her writings have appeared in various online sites as well as digital and print magazines, and devotional journals.