Comparison Steals Contentment by Page Choe
"Why can't my hair look as good as hers?"
"I wish I was making as much as them.”
"Wow! She has such a good sense of style. Why can’t I put pieces together like that?"
Ever have thoughts similar to these that plague your mind? I am not new to the comparison game and have had my fair share of seasons battling through it. Each time, it would eat away at my self-esteem, joy, and identity. It revealed how truly broken and dissatisfied I was. I didn't appreciate myself and what I already had. The grass was always greener on the other side in my eyes. Before I knew it, I had sunken into anxiety and depression over what I lacked. I put those people and qualities that I admired on a pedestal and didn't appreciate what God had given me.
When I was in middle school, I wanted my hair to be pin straight like the popular girls. I bought countless hair products and hair straighteners with the allowance that my parents gave me. I even went so far as laying my hair on an ironing board, and you guessed it, ironing my hair. Yikes! I didn't care that my hair was flat or smelled like smoke; I just wanted to achieve that standard of beauty. For years, I would wake up each morning before school/work to straighten my hair until one day; my hair couldn't take it anymore. Finally, during my senior year in college, my hair began snapping off and curling at the ends. I knew that I couldn't keep putting my hair through that and thus, started my journey towards accepting my hair the way it was.
The comparison comes down to a heart issue, and it's like we're saying, God didn't know what he was doing when he created us. Psalm 139:13 tells us that God knit us in our mother's womb and was involved in every detail about us. Ephesians 2:10 confirms that we are God's masterpiece. He makes no mistakes. Our pride says that we would only be good if we had x, y, and z. It causes us to focus on ourselves and lose sight of Jesus. God does not owe us anything, and to say otherwise would be insulting to Him. Comparison can also be in thinking that we are better or not as bad as the other person.
The truth is, we are all sinners in need of grace.
So, how do we fight this? How can we learn to be content? We praise God for his wonderful artistry when He made us. We trust that He has a purpose for making us this way. We worship God in all life's circumstances, even when we don't understand it all. We take our eyes off of ourselves and other people and focus on Jesus. Hebrews 13:5 says, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Everlasting joy cannot be sustained with things, altered physical looks, and money. Joy is found in knowing that we have God's presence with us and we are not alone.
My name is Page Choe, and I was born in California but now reside in Georgia with my husband. My parents are immigrants from Thailand, which makes me a first-generation Asian American. My family and I did not come to Christ until I was 10 years old. Since then, our lives have changed, and I am forever grateful to God for our salvation! I now love to write about topics of faith in hopes that it will encourage other believers and bring glory to God.