Cold-Hearted by Kat Merrigan
I’ve been noticing an uncomfortable and confusing trend. One post or ad will advise you to follow your heart. The next spot will assure you the only way to get what you deserve is to become ruthless and cold as ice.
Which is it?
Should we operate predominantly from emotions and feelings or cast that aside and embrace stoic reason and logic? Are we to be tender or cold-hearted?
As a Christian, the answer would appear obvious: tender. We can quickly quote scripture verses to back us up, such as, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26; ESV) Case closed.
But are we appreciating the full context of the message? I know I wasn’t for a long time. We tend to focus on the end of the verse where he gives us a fleshy heart: soft, tender. We forget how he refers to our current one as stone: cold, hard. It’s safe to say our heart is flawed and beyond repair. If it wasn’t, why would we need a new one?
Let us also not forget this verse, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9; ESV) This is a sobering truth. If I’m being honest, there have been more times than I care to count when simply following my heart led me down a road of disappointment and pain. I’m certain I’m not alone. Perhaps that’s why there are also verses like this one, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23; ESV) God reminds us in this verse that what is in our hearts will eventually come out of us. Without properly managing our hearts, at some point, we may say or do something we regret.
But what does it mean to keep our hearts? It’s clear we need the Lord’s help to cleanse and purify it. “Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10; ESV) This requires staying in close contact with him. Daily prayer and study, seeking his wisdom and counsel, and even fasting, are all great ways to stay connected. In addition, we must be ready and open to his leading, guidance, and correction.
We’ve all heard or used the expression, “God put this person (or this situation) on my heart.” But did he truly? Our heart is capable of being led astray. We should be mindful of this in prayer before our actions lead us.
Yet, what if it’s extending kindness? One thing I’m still learning is that timing is everything. You probably don’t want to throw a welcome-back party for someone just getting out of the hospital. The good news is God is faithful. He will gently prompt us through the Holy Spirit if our desires are trustworthy.
We must remember His correction or redirection is for everyone’s benefit. It certainly may not feel that way at the moment, but I’m sure if you look back over your life, you’ll begin to see where his way really was best. I know I’m not the only one who has taken a moment to thank him for not giving me what I thought I needed.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26; ESV) What comfort there is in this verse. It begins with such a raw, vulnerable acknowledgment that our flesh and heart may fail. In my case, I know they will; it’s only a matter of time. But the psalmist doesn’t leave us in a place without hope. He reminds us how God is our heart’s strength and portion forever.
My favorite phrase in all of the scriptures may be: but God. I’ve never done a search to see how many times it appears in the text, but I would venture it’s more than a few. Our flesh and heart may fail, but God. If I think of how many but God moments I’ve had, I’m overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Take a moment and recall when he came through for you. I’m sure it won’t take long to think of one, two, or dozens of situations. And those are only the ones we know about! How many more times was his hand upon our lives, and we didn’t even know it?
But God.
I bet you’re starting to love that phrase too now, aren’t you?
As is always true, we are not to blindly follow culture or trends. Everything we experience should be filtered through the lens of biblical principles and truths. The Holy Spirit helps us to sift through all the sensory information thrown at us. This brings us back to the questions posed at the beginning of this piece: Should we operate predominantly from emotions and feelings or cast that aside and embrace pure reason and logic? Are we to be tender or cold-hearted?
The best answer is to stay close to the Lord and guard our hearts, acknowledging feelings and emotions without letting them control our behavior. We should tap into reason and logic provided it is rooted in Godly wisdom. Above all we should prioritize our daily time with him as it will equip us to face whatever each day brings.
Stay on guard over your precious heart.
Kat Merrigan was born and raised in NY. A published author, blogger, podcaster, and actress, Kat’s making her feature debut in an independent film coming soon. She published her first book in 2021. Her weekly blog is available at www.katmerrigan.com. Her work has been featured in Calla Press and Academy Of the Heart and Mind. This summer her work will appear in Cloaked Press and on the new Story Unlikely podcast. She can be found on IG: Kat Controversy and FB: Kathy Merry.