We Missed Spring by Terry Gassett
The morning sunlight streams through my bedroom window
signaling my eyes to open.
They open slowly,
look around,
not fully focused yet.
Everything looks familiar;
yet at the same time
eerily different.
I remember then that it is.
Although my surroundings are exactly the same,
they are completely and forever changed.
The sunshine, usually a welcome greeting, now has become hot, searing, an unwelcome
intrusion
to the gift of sleep.
I remember now - it’s June
And I completely missed Spring.
It came didn’t it? I know it did.
You and I awaited it,
plotting and planning
beautiful flower varieties
we could add to our garden
this year
and beautiful memories
we would make.
We waited eagerly for Spring’s arrival,
knowing it would be a time to feast our eyes,
engage our senses,
and celebrate
another year of marriage.
In April.
In the Spring.
But I missed Spring this year,
and so did you.
Instead of finding ourselves
basking in the sunlight,
breathing in God’s fresh air,
we found ourselves deep
in unfamiliar darkness,
far away from any sunshine,
as you bravely fought an invisible, insidious, merciless, disease
that had already claimed
far too many lives.
But in its greed,
it took one more.
One more precious to me
than my own.
I missed Spring this year,
and so did you.
Spring with her profuse beauty,
dried brown grass
turning to vivid green
trees proudly
sprouting their leaves again,
and flower after flower
putting on the most spectacular show each day,
seemingly just for us.
This year Spring was muted,
Her joy unnoticed
because pain reached out and trapped me in its grasp.
It has me trapped there still.
Yes, I missed Spring this year,
and so did you.
But it did still come.
God chose this Spring
to carry you home
to Himself,
where all His gardens
bloom eternally.
And He’s chosen this Spring,
to carry me in His arms,
As He gently reminds me
Of His Promise:
“Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.”
We are moving into summer,
separated
by an unseen spiritual realm,
You in the very presence of the SON:
and that same SON
reaching out to me each morning,
beckoning me to “rise up”
and let Him carry me through another day.
Yes, I missed Spring this year,
And so did you.
But it did come.
God chose this Spring to
carry you home to Himself,
And Now,
He daily wipes my tears
with His Grace.
Below is Terry's words to her husband at his memorial.
Grief and Grace (Terry spoke this at her husband's memorial service.)
"It’s the story I’m living now.
A friend recently asked me if I lived each day in God’s Grace?
Actually, we all do whether we are aware of it or not.
So, the better question I might ask myself is:
Do I live in the REALIZATION of God’s Grace each day?
Because you see, Grace is a person - who died on a cross, for you, and for me, who took upon Himself the just punishment of our sins. And He did it because He loved us that much.
One of Bill’s favorite verses is:
Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one can boast.”
He preached it, He believed it, he lived it.
For me, the challenge I face now, (in life without Bill), is being not only aware of that grace - God’s amazing grace - that saved a wretch like me - but to look for it, believe in it, live in it, day by day, moment by moment, knowing and remembering, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that even in the midst of the deepest grief, God’s Grace is deeper still.
You were an extraordinary man, Bill Gassett. Thank you for loving me, and loving me well. Thank you for the privilege of loving you back.
And Thank you for the beautiful legacy of faith and love you left us all.
You will be forever loved, and forever missed."