The Thrill to Trust by Ashley C. Shannon

It was the first day of our much-anticipated family holiday. We had barely left the airport and entered the city when he got the call. As the rest of the family ate she-crab soup, my husband excused himself, phone in hand, to talk to his work. When he returned, his face carried uncertainty. 

I knew that look. It was the same look he had before every one of our cross-country moves.

Later that night, he told me his impossible situation. He laid out all the options. The logical ones—what could work, what might work. And the dreaded options.

Together we asked God to make His will clear to us. And I added to the prayer, “Could we know by Monday?”

One of my husband’s might-work plans needed to be implemented soon, even if we were on vacation.

It was Wednesday.

….

The days continued with holiday play. Although the problem was in the back of my mind, I felt God’s peace. I knew the upheaval of what could be, but I felt God’s strength reassure me that no matter the answer to my husband’s dilemma, we would be okay.

My kids were learning verses in Philippians 4. Verses 4-7 (ESV) says:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This was our chance to live it out.

Friday arrived, and I popped into one of my favorite stores to buy some vacation swag. When I came back to the car, my husband showed me a text message he had received. Tears of joy welled in my eyes. It wasn’t even close to Monday, yet it seemed we had an answer. Although it was an unofficial answer (we were still on vacation), the burden lifted.

However, it continued to cloud my husband. He schemed and planned, even though rest beckoned.

“We asked God to take care of it. Don’t you feel at peace?” I asked.

But the struggle ensued: God’s peace vs. the most logical choice.

It’s hard to be content and wait for God to work everything out when you can hurry up the process on your own.

….

Saturday at the beach, the waves rolled in one after another. My son built moats and sandcastles, but my daughter ventured deep into the ocean with my husband.

She squealed with delight as the air rushed past her.  Up she’s flung and then caught in her father’s arms. She has no fear as she’s thrown—gravity brings her back to his secure hold every time.

When she’s onshore, she asks again and again if they can go back out. Can she be thrown in the air one more time? Please? She wants to feel the air rush beside her, watch the waves below, and know her father will catch her. Can she experience, again, the thrill to trust?

….

The last day of our holiday arrived. We would get on the plane early the following morning– return to our everyday routine. But, what were we returning to?

Another work phone call came. Other directions given: Wait.

Anxiety galloped in. The what-ifs rolled like waves. 

“We don’t know what it could mean,” I reassured my husband.

As we flew home, what we didn’t know was that God was moving company hearts to change policies to favor my husband. How could we know that by next week everything would be back to how it was before we had left for holiday?

We didn’t have to know. We just had to trust.

….

Times are uncertain.

Anxiety and chaos crave to invade our thoughts and hearts. No matter what corner we turn, there is something to be afraid of.

And yet. . . .

I close my eyes, feel the air rush by, and forget the waves under me. I choose to trust in the arms of a Heavenly Father who will catch me.

Oh, the thrill to trust.

Ashley C. Shannon is a wife, mother, and self-appointed adventure curator. As a lifelong learner, she enjoys exploring the Midwest where she lives and painting her experience of motherhood with words. You can find her on Instagram at @ashley_c_shannon