Get Along T-Shirt by Manndi Maphies Wilkins

Sometimes I wonder if God shakes his head out of exasperation when his children fail to get along.

Just this week, my youngest son, Waylan, was playing a game (on his brother’s iPhone). When said brother realized he was on his phone, he ‘accidentally’ set the game back several levels when Waylan took a leave of absence to use the bathroom. When Waylan saw that his brother had adversely affected his progress, it was W-A-R.

Liam ran. Waylan chased. From the next room, I heard slapping, stomping, screams of torture, a bit of giggling, followed by angry words spoken from both sides. I wanted them to stop, but I was also exhausted from a long day of family festivities and preparation for the holiday season, and half hoped it would be a quick draw…with no interference required from me.

The next thing I know, one brother takes off through the garage door, out into the dark night beyond, and the other brother calls for him to come home, like a lost puppy who escaped his safe yard by digging a hole under the fence. It was quite pathetic.

I later told my oldest son, Liam, he should not have hindered his brother’s progress on whatever game he was playing. He informed me it was his phone and his little brother had not asked to use it.

“He hung me out like dirty laundry, Mom!” I could not help but giggle at the ridiculous drama that unfolds on a daily basis between these two best enemies.

As a parent, I often get so weary of the fighting, tattling, yelling, finger-pointing, blaming and failing to take responsibility for their own actions. I hesitate to intervene because quite honestly, I don’t care who started it. I don’t give a flip who is to blame. I couldn’t give a rat’s long straggly tail which brother offended the other. I just want them to STOP FIGHTING.

I wonder if God doesn’t feel the same about his precious children. ‘Yes Johnny, I know your wife often rolls her eyes at you, but it does not give you the right to stay out drinking until the wee morning hours, in efforts to avoid her.’ ‘Sure Linda, I saw the co-worker that took your much-deserved promotion but trust me, I have even bigger plans for you.’ ‘Oh Dalton, I realize your brother is a know-it-all and completely exhausts everyone with his whimsical financial schemes, but it is only because he idolizes you and wants nothing more in this life but to impress his big brother.’

Does God warily look at us and think to himself, 'Please, for the love of all that is holy, just get along.' Be kind. Simply love. Give, heal, forgive, let go, be the bigger person. Love your neighbor and stop wasting precious energy fighting battles when I need your time, talent, and passion in much more lucrative areas of life.

Perhaps the metaphorical ‘Get Along T-shirt’ parents use for fighting siblings is closely related to those awkward relationships in our lives that force us to somehow work through dissension and find a small island of common ground. Relationship trauma often mirrors inadequacies in our own personal lives. Causing us to either ignore the flashing lights of warning or heroically tackle them head-on.

My boys really do love each other. I believe that, no matter how much they fight, they will always make up. They simply have to. The alternative is unacceptable to me as their parent. Just as our human strife and disregard for others are unacceptable to our Heavenly Father. If we find ourselves struggling with certain relationships, it could simply be a case of us sharing a metaphorical ‘Get Along T-shirt’. The sooner we make amends, the sooner we are free from the ties that bind us from the peace and freedom that comes from simply accepting others and loving them right smack-dab where they are.

Manndi Maphies Wilkins works at the UMKC School of Pharmacy and as a freelance writer. Her greatest passion is being a boy mom to her two sons, William (11) and Waylan (9). Her sons provide much material which inspires her writings. She also writes on such topics as: single parenthood, miscarriage, loss of a loved one, and starting over. Her pieces are filled with inspiration, encouragement and always a touch of humor.