Forgotten Valentine by Sandy Brannan

Stacy resisted the urge to scream as she tugged on the drawer again. She knew the frustration she was feeling was normal. After all, moving was hard work. Yes, she was definitely feeling the stress of packing boxes, but she knew deep down that it was more than that for her. She was leaving behind the only life she had ever wanted, the life she had shared with Brian, the life she had thought would never end.

Yanking the drawer again, this time so hard that she fell backward, she laughed a bit as it finally opened. Reaching up to find out what had caused it to stick in the first place, she pulled out a bunched-up piece of thick red paper. As she unfolded it, she felt herself smile. How appropriate that she would find this today, on Valentine’s Day.

It had to be one of the many cards her children had made for her over the years. There had been a time when she had an entire closet in their hall devoted to craft supplies. And the kids had loved it. They had enjoyed using all the glue, glitter, and other supplies she made sure were always on a bottom shelf for their little hands to find. She had firmly believed that messes could always be cleaned up, but you only had one chance at making memories.

Opening the bent red paper, she saw the heart with only a little silver glitter still glued on. She didn’t want to think about all the times she had tried in vain to vacuum up the sparkly little pieces of happiness. In fact, she wouldn’t be surprised if there was still some stuck in the carpet somewhere in one of the rooms. 

Standing up, she carried the card with her to the recliner Brian had spent so much time in, especially as the end had grown near. She liked to sit in his chair these days. She liked to pretend she could still smell his aftershave, but she knew it had been too long. Like everything else in her life, the way she had inhaled her husband’s spicy scent was just a memory.

Opening the card, she felt her hand on her mouth as the words took her back in time. It wasn’t a card from one of her babies from long ago. No. She wondered how she had forgotten this particular Valentine. She knew she would never forget the day Brian had made it for her.

Erin was about three years old, and Michael hadn’t been born yet. They had just found out they were going to be parents again, parents to another baby girl. The doctor had told them to expect the baby sometime around early March, and they were busy pulling boxes out of the attic, busy finding Erin’s old baby things for their new little girl to use. They were both excited about this baby, excited about the chance to give Erin a baby sister to play with.

As is true so many times in life, things didn’t go as planned. Before it was even Christmas, Brian was quietly putting boxes back up in the attic when he thought his wife wasn’t looking. Even while his heart was breaking, he had tried to spare hers from having more pain.

Stacy ran her finger over the words inside the card, allowing herself to travel back in time to those dark days when sadness threatened to overwhelm her. So many people had told her she could try again, had tried to comfort her by telling her that their baby was in a better place. All their words had felt like daggers to her back then. She had forced herself to be polite while, on the inside, she had silently screamed at each of them to please just stop talking.

Brian had understood her pain. He had felt it too. And, when Valentine’s Day had rolled around that year, he had given her a gift more precious than anything he had ever given her before. 

Stacy closed her eyes as she remembered how her husband had woken her up that morning long before Erin had a chance to run down the hall with her chubby little legs, insisting on a few minutes of sleep in their bed. She remembered how he had made her breakfast, served it to her on a tray with a small vase that held a tiny pink rosebud. She remembered how hesitant his face had looked when he handed her the card. 

More than anything, she remembered her tears as she read the words he had written just for her, words from the baby girl she would never hold in her arms, words that finally helped her start to heal.

Yes, moving was stressful. She had thought they would grow old in this house. They had made so many plans for how it would one day be full of grandchildren, how they would get the chance to relive the childhood of their own children.

But, just like their precious baby girl, Brian had left her long before she was ready to let him go. 

As she made her way back to the drawer and the empty box beside it, Stacy felt at peace. She was ready to pack, ready to find out what this next chapter of her life held for her.

She had Brian to thank. Like he had so many years ago, he knew just what to say to her to help ease her pain. She knew finding his lost Valentine hadn’t been an accident.

Whispering a silent prayer of thanks, she thought about the Bible verses she had read earlier that morning. God did indeed love her very much. Once again, He had made sure she received the exact Valentine she needed.