Faithful to Forgive by Tristany Corgan
Confession: I am a major grudge-holder.
Several years ago, a friend of mine started dating this guy I grew up with. At first, things were going well, and I thought it was great that these two people I knew fairly well were seeing each other. But things took a turn when he wanted a deeper relationship than she did, and he began to gaslight and manipulate her. I was shocked and furious that he would do this sort of thing because I had known him for years, and to this day, I still have negative feelings towards him.
When someone hurts a friend or family member of mine, I get angry. When someone hurts or offends me, I tend to avoid them at all costs. And when the person never admits that they were in the wrong, I develop a major grudge.
Of course, as believers, we know we’re not supposed to hold grudges. Instead, we’re called to forgive. Jesus made this pretty clear in his earthy ministry. One time, his disciple Peter asked how many times we should forgive those who sin against us. “As many as seven times?” (Matthew 18:21b, ESV) I’m sure Peter thought this was a very generous amount of forgiveness. But Jesus responded to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22b, ESV).
The legalist in me wants to whip out a notepad and pen and write down every time I “forgive” someone so that I know when I don’t need to forgive them anymore. But this is not at all what Jesus was teaching. In the Bible, seven is the number of completion, so when Jesus says we’re to forgive others seventy-seven times, this means we’re to forgive them to double completion. In other words, we’re called to forgive and forgive and forgive some more. We must always forgive those who sin against us.
But why do we have to forgive these people? They’ve done such terrible things to us or to those we love! It’s simple, really. We forgive others because God forgave us [Colossians 3:13]. Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV).
We are a sinful people. Ever since Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s command in the Garden, we are naturally bent towards disobedience and rebellion against God. We sin every day, every hour, perhaps even every minute. And because of our sin, we deserve death [Romans 3:23, 6:23]. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, ESV).
While we were yet sinners, God sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to live a perfect life, die as a sacrifice for our sins, and resurrect three days later to give us new life. Through the blood he poured out on the cross, he secured eternal redemption and forgiveness for all who would call on him and believe in him as their Lord and Savior [Matthew 26:28, Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 1:14].
We can believe that we have been truly redeemed and cleansed from our unrighteousness because our God is faithful to forgive all our sins—past, present, and future [1 John 1:9]. He will not repay us for our sins and iniquities because he has removed them far away from us. “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12, ESV).
But we are not so faithful to forgive. Though we will no longer face the penalty of sin, the presence of sin is still very much active in the lives of believers. We still get angry. We still hold grudges. We still withhold forgiveness. And Jesus offers a sober warning to me and every other grudge-holder out there: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15, ESV).
Now, Jesus is not saying here that if you don’t forgive someone then you will lose your salvation (that’s impossible!). But he is saying that those who refuse to forgive will be hindered in their fellowship with the Father. After all, God has forgiven us of a lifetime of sins! We can’t forgive this one little thing that hurt or offended us? By withholding forgiveness, we actually reveal that we don’t truly understand or even appreciate the forgiveness God has extended to us.
Forgiveness is hard. Trust me, I know from firsthand experience. But God has been faithful to forgive thousands upon thousands of our past, present, and future sins. This beautiful truth should cause us to love, pray for, and be faithful to forgive those who have hurt us, those who have wronged us, those who have sinned against us. We may not be able to forget their sins, but we can choose to forgive their sins and show them the same love and compassion God has shown us.
“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him” (Psalm 103:10-13, ESV).
Tristany lives in sunny central Florida. She graduated in May 2021 with her master's degree in Biblical Exposition from Liberty University, and she works at a local Christian non-profit. She is an avid reader, amateur photographer, and self-proclaimed theology nerd, and she loves flowers, oldies music, and going to Disney World. Tristany has a passion for encouraging women to know and love the Word of God, and she writes about the Bible and theology regularly at tristanycorgan.com.