Does Everything Happen for a Reason? by Kayla Green

“Everything happens for a reason,” or does it?

The helpfulness of the phrase is heavily debated. Does it help one cope, or does it undermine one’s grief and cause one to question God’s will?

I’ll be honest—I often find myself using the phrase as a crutch. I use it to comfort others—though one may convincingly argue against it—and I say it to myself when undergoing periods of stress and hardship. In fact, the phrase was ingrained into me during my upbringing, and I find myself clinging to it for hope and peace.

But clinging to the idea does nothing because everything does not happen for a reason. Pain, trauma, loss—sometimes bad things just happen without any greater good at play. 

So, what does the Bible say? How can we find solace in a world where bad things can just happen without purpose? The Bible never states, “Everything happens for a reason.” Yet, God’s word is full of hope and encouragement. For example, Romans 8:28 (NIV) says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

But this verse is not saying that there is a reason for everything. On the contrary, it is merely saying that we can find comfort knowing that God has sovereignty, meaning that God does indeed determine our days. Yet, we were created with free will, and because of free will, troubles will happen. 

Millard J. Erickson in “Introducing Christian Doctrine” explains “The plan of God does not force us to act in particular ways but renders it certain that we will freely act in those ways. Thus, while the plan of God relates primarily to what God does, human actions are also included” (p. 123). 

I’m not saying that your sin leads to punishment and I’m not saying that if you are strong enough in your faith, bad things won’t happen. Bad things, troubles, hardships—they are, unfortunately, part of life.

However, we are not alone in our troubles. God does have good plans for our days as stated in Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Ultimately, God will redeem us. 

In addition, Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) says, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” God is doing great things in our lives, things we can’t even imagine.

When faced with pain, trauma, loss, and grief, we can turn to God for comfort and hope. There cannot be light without darkness; to embrace God’s goodness, we must accept there is also bad in the world as there is sin in the world. 

I understand the darkness of the world. 

In June of 2018, I experienced insurmountable grief after losing my beloved dog. I had owned, loved, and lost other dogs before, but this dog, my Jon Snow, was different. I was convinced that God placed him in my life to help me battle my depression. But then days before his second birthday, we lost him.

Some may say that my heartbreak was dramatic—I say I never wish that level of hurt on anyone in this world. I physically felt my heart shatter, and it took weeks to feel semi-normal without him. I still have moments today where I think of him and the grief washes over me anew. 

I will never understand why I was given Jon Snow just to lose him. After his death, I found myself in such a dark place. It was a place I didn’t want to stay. So, after years of battling mental illness, I sought out a faith-based counselor. 

You see, there are 280 million people worldwide who suffer from depression, according to the World Health Organization. And in our society, especially within the religious community, there is a stigma surrounding mental health.

If I just prayed more…if I was deeper on my spiritual walk…if I was a better Christian…would that have made a difference? These are questions I asked myself following Jon’s death. I’ve come to learn that the heartache and pain had nothing to do with my faith or lack thereof. And since losing him, I have found myself reflecting, trying to understand the purpose in my loss.

In the throes of my pain, I sought help for my clinical depression. I started talk therapy and found a medication that helped me. I started writing again—something I had put on the back burner for years—to cope with my heartache. 

But there were other paths to lead me to seek help for my mental health. I would have started devoting more time to my God-given talents by other means than this loss.

Yes, good things came in the aftermath of my grief, but I don’t believe Jon Snow’s death happened for a reason—despite relying on the phrase so much, I don’t think everything has a greater divine purpose. Sometimes bad things happen, and that’s just life. 

So, though not everything happens for a reason, I find comfort in knowing that God does have a plan even if I don’t understand everything that happens. And it isn’t my place to understand all things. It is my place to trust in God as he writes my story versus trying to take the pen from him. I have learned in my 28 years that trying to control the quill and ink leads to discontent—but that is a topic for another time.

Kayla E. Green is a Christian author and poet in eastern North Carolina where she resides with her husband and furbabies. A daydreamer at heart, Kayla loves creating new stories and building new worlds. When she isn’t writing, reading, or taking photos for her bookstagram, she loves singing loudly and off-key to KLove Radio, napping, and pretending she’s a unicorn. Her debut poetry collection, Metamorphosis, is available now on Amazon. You can find her short story “Passion and Purpose” and her poem “Fallen Star” in Alex Silvius’ anthology The Depths We’ll Go To.