Cascading Leaves by Sandy Brannan
She looked up at the way the sunlight seemed to gently share its light with her while making its way through the canopy of orange leaves. From her spot on her blanket, Bree felt like she had escaped all her worries. Of course, she knew they were all where she had left them, ready to pounce back on her as soon as she left the solitude she was feeling right now. Here, at the park, it was easy to pretend that she didn’t have a care in the world.
As Bree stood, she grabbed a handful of orange leaves. She figured she would leave a few in her car and spread the rest across her desk at work. She laughed as she thought about what would happen if she tried to find somewhere to display them at home. Ethan’s face would turn down in the way it always did when he was disappointed but didn’t want her to know. She knew he didn’t like the messiness of the outside world brought into the peaceful cocoon he desperately tried to create within the walls of their house. So she resisted the urge to fill their shelves with vases of wildflowers and displays of autumn leaves, knowing he tended to look past the beauty of nature as he focused on the dirty residue it often left behind.
Shaking the dirt from her blanket, she began the short walk back to her car. The baby blue VW bug had been a gift from her husband, given to her on her 35th birthday, a few months before they found out she was carrying the twins. Instead of trading it in for the minivan, they both knew they would soon need, he had given up his truck. He had told her he could always get another one later. Knowing how badly she had wanted a VW as a teenager, Ethan had refused to let her give up her dream. It was one of the million reasons she loved him as much as she did.
As she cranked the engine and put her little car in reverse, Bree felt joy bubble up in her chest. No matter what was going on in her life, including the test results from the pediatrician that were due any day now, she always felt secure in her husband’s love. There had been many days that his love had carried her when she hadn’t felt like she had the strength to even get out of bed.
Shifting into gear once again, Bree finally gave her foot a break from the clutch. Unless the town’s only stoplight managed to slow her down, she knew she could relax and coast back to work. Thoughts of her job made her glance over at the pile of leaves she had placed on the seat beside her. She couldn’t deny that she felt trapped most days. The tug on her heart to be with the twins often made her feel like a prisoner at the desk where she spent so many of her waking hours. But she knew how important her income was for their little family, just like she knew how much her husband didn’t want her to work. More than once she had stumbled upon him as he sat at their kitchen table, thumbing through their checkbook while shaking his head. She knew how important it was for him to provide for her and the children, but she also knew nothing could have prepared either of them for Seth’s and Chloe’s medical bills.
As she slid her car into the parking space reserved just for her, Bree felt something shift inside of her. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to remember how the twins had looked at breakfast that morning. She thought about Ethan’s smile when he had tossed her a warm washcloth, as he had looked at her when they both tried to clean their children’s sticky, syrup-covered fingers. Opening her eyes, she could almost hear the giggles known only to toddlers and their parents.
Grabbing the pile of leaves, she walked toward the door to her office. She knew she would scatter a few on her desk to remind her of the beauty she got to see every day on her lunch break.
But now she knew they would remind her of something else too. Those leaves, with their orange color that had been hidden all along under their life-giving green, would remind her of everything beautiful in her life.
She took a moment to pause before opening the heavy glass door. She felt a tear make its way down her cheek as her heart reminded her of the many blessings that she called her own. She lifted up a silent prayer to God, thanking Him for His gentle and timely voice.
As she arranged the leaves under her computer screen, Bree was grateful for the reminder of all that was good in her life, grateful for the gift her change of perspective had brought her way. She knew the leaves would wither away until one day they crumbled at the slightest touch. She knew the day would come when she would be forced to brush them off her desk. She couldn’t help but smile as she thought about the beauty that always showed up during this time of year. As she got back to work, she was happy as she thought of the many blessings she had in this season of her life too.