Autism and the Church by Miya Sae
When was the last time you heard a testimony from an autistic Christian?
I still find myself wondering how there is still so much misinformation about autism and neurodiversity as a whole. Many people simply rely on stereotypes and myths, such as:
“Autism is something only children have. You’ll grow out of it.”
“Autistic people can’t be empathetic.”
“You can’t be autistic because you don’t have ‘the look.’”
“Autism needs a cure!”
None of the above are true by any means, yet such claims are often used abusively towards autistic people.
The last one—the belief that autism needs to be “cured”—has been especially toxic for me.
I grew up being taught that autism is basically an evil disease and that, because God is a healer, he can take it away. I spent over a decade genuinely believing he “healed” me from autism after my conversion because I didn’t understand what it is or how it works.
After being diagnosed at age twenty-six, I dove into research and interacting with other autistic adults. It has been one of the most valuable and eye-opening seasons of my life. For the first time I feel that I understand and see myself the way God made me. I understand that I’m not diseased, a bad person, or an extra filthy sinner; I simply have a differently wired brain. Society may look down on me, but God sees his precious, fearfully and wonderfully made daughter.
A common autistic quality is hyperfixation, or having intense special interests. I didn’t know this for most of my life. I thought I was the only Christian in the world who “struggled” with it.
For over a decade, I received well-intentioned messages from the church telling me that passionately enjoying something, spending a lot of time in thoughts or activities related to it—in other words, hyperfixating on something that isn’t specifically Jesus-brand—is “idolatry.”
I would discover much later that the Bible defines idolatry differently. Scripture does not, in fact, state that liking something a lot is equivalent to idolizing it.
Putting one’s faith into a special interest would make it an idol. Enjoying it enthusiastically while loving Jesus does not.
In talking with other autistic Christians, I have found value and beauty in deeply appreciating God’s creation and in worshiping him through it. That does not mean that I look to my favorite anime and games for salvation, nor put my faith in them to give me what only God can. When a parent gives their child a toy to play with, they don’t intend for the child to ignore it or consider it a waste of time. They want their child to enjoy the gift.
I spent so many years feeling completely alone in my weird “sin struggles.” There were several things I was led to believe were sinful when, in reality, I was fine. God simply gave me a different neurotype. He gave me a creative mind that daydreams a lot. He’s been teaching me to be mindful of and discerning about whether a preached message is actually scripturally sound or if it simply stems from cultural Christianity. Just because an idea is repeated a lot over time doesn’t necessarily make it biblically accurate.
Perhaps the biggest reason why I felt like an alien all those years is that no one was talking about these things. I didn’t know that other autistic Christians exist and think in similar ways to me. I didn’t know that other genuine Christ-followers also spend a lot of time watching anime and reading fanfiction while still pursuing the Lord. I didn’t know that I don’t have to hate myself for any of this; that I don’t have to burn and destroy the things I enjoy; that I don’t have to aspire to a nun’s lifestyle.
Because of my neurology and certain disabling aspects of it, I can’t always live up to the standards that the church sets on how to be an ideal, “good” Christian.
And that’s okay.
Like I said before, church leaders and Christian influencers usually are well-intentioned. The standard messages these people preach are not aimed at autistic or otherwise neurodivergent audiences. Most of them just don’t understand how our brains work, or the unique ways we can glorify God through things they might consider weird or meaningless.
The reality of neurodivergence is simply a topic most people don’t think about very much.
We can do better.
By all means: read your Bible consistently. Go to church. Read Christian books. Spread the Gospel. These are good things.
Just be mindful not to excuse every area of your life simply because you’re different in some ways to others. Like anything else, special interests always have the potential to be sinful if one perverts them or if the interest itself is directly sinful according to Scripture.
But I have connected with God and other people more powerfully through things like gaming, art, and other mutual interests with others than I ever have through a shame-based reading session or obligatory “Christian-y” activities.
I know I’m not the only one.
Contrary to popular belief, God does care about the things we love. While our happiness and enjoyment of life aren’t his biggest priorities necessarily, he does care.
We’re allowed to do things we enjoy, as long as said things aren’t specifically commanded against. Ecclesiastes has some nuggets, such as:
“So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne!” (Ecclesiastes 9:7-8)
“So I commend the enjoyment of life because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 8:15).
“Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom” (Ecclesiastes 9:10).
And, well, all of 1 Corinthians 8.
I’ll say it again: special interests can always become sinful, but that applies to pretty much anything. Even church attendance can become a sin if it’s just a source of pride or an idol that one believes will save them.
It’s all dependent on one’s heart. As Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23).
In short: hyperfixation and other autistic traits are not inherently sinful. We can do all kinds of things through a God-revering lens.
There needs to be more understanding of autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergence in the church. And the best way to learn is to go to the source.
Listen to neurodivergent people! Hear their stories. Learn from them.
Though it sounds counterintuitive, Google searches can actually be the opposite of helpful in this department, as there is still so much stigma and incorrect information from harmful organizations readily available at the tap of a keyboard. Many of these organizations still wish to erase us from existence, rather than to help create a world where we can thrive.
Autism does not need to be “healed.” It’s not just an aspect of our personalities. It’s not just a quirk or two. It literally makes us who we are. It affects everything we do, think, feel, and say. It’s how we perceive the world and process information. Taking away the autism would make someone a different person entirely. To “stop” being autistic would be to cease having a brain.
Let’s give more opportunities for autistic people to speak up in church and Bible study groups.
Let’s normalize having differently-brained folks in our communities and in leadership roles.
Let’s help neurodivergent Christians feel valued and less alone.
Miya Sae is an autistic Christian and an aspiring author. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a Bachelor of Social Work degree in 2016. Diagnosed at age 26, she has become an autism advocate and strives to bring hope and encouragement to other misunderstood, neurodivergent Christians like herself. Miya became a willing Christian at age 14 after a dramatic and unforgettable encounter with God. Since then she has been passionate about sharing the love of Christ with anyone who desires to listen. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband and their two feline children, Nebby and Mochi.